Dignity

Something I have been thinking about a lot lately is dignity.  Maybe it's just because I'm getting old, maybe it's because I am so lacking in it!  Either way, I've been realizing that I would rather respond to people and the world around me with dignity than with drama.  It may be fun to get extra attention.  It might be gratifying to get in that zinger that makes everyone laugh at someone who disagrees with you.  It might be funny to say inappropriate things.  I have certainly been guilty of all these things, and will likely continue to be guilty of then throughout my life.  However, what does this gain? 

The other night I was perusing Pinterest for fun things to do with Jr, and I came across this: 24 Ways to Prepare Your Young Girl to Be a Lovely Woman.  Most of it pertains to setting a good example for her.  Wait, what?  I prepare my daughter for the world through my example?  I help her be a lovely woman by being lovely myself?  But that takes woooork!  And yet, I want her to be kind.  I want her to be polite.  I want her to be loving, sincerely loving to others, and to care about the world around her.  Am I prepared to be the person I want her to be?  Wouldn't it be so much easier to just pray her into awesomeness in spite of me?

Yesterday in his sermon, Ryan spoke about being in fellowship with Christ, and how if we have to be truthful, the less fellowship we have with the Lord means we have greater fellowship with the enemy.  He read a passage that pointed out how "they" (really, we) glory in their shame.  The first thing that popped in my head was America's love of tackiness like Jersey Shore.  Why oh why does our culture glory in cat fights and barroom brawls and shallow, clueless people?  I'm not a fan, but then the second thought I had was my love of "that's what SHE said" jokes.  Oops.  But- they're funny! Yet, my vision of my child as an adult is someone organizing a village to build a school where none has been before, or leading a protest against injustice, not snickering over naughty jokes with her friends.

It's hard sometimes in today's world.  Somewhere along the line, things that lend themselves to dignity in a woman have been distorted and scorned.  Being supportive of one's husband, and deferring to him, acknowledging his wisdom, also known as submitting, has become A Bad Thing.  Instead, the word submission is equated with oppression, and every other commercial has husbands being portrayed as an incompetent buffoon.  If we love someone -regardless of the relationship- don't we desire to support them?  No wonder so many people are having a difficult time having a happy marriage- we're being inundated with messages that we should have respect for nobody but ourselves.

Another thing that has been distorted is this weird notion that to be strong, women have to be unladylike, or crass, or loud.  Huh?  I refer back to the love of tackiness.  Being louder or getting more attention doesn't make you more right (regardless of your gender).  Doing the right thing, sometimes at your own expense, makes you strong.  Knowing your capabilities and boundaries and abiding by them makes you strong.  Overcoming your fears makes you strong. Biting your tongue makes you strong.  Acknowledging your own weaknesses makes you strong.  Doing what you need to to eliminate those weaknesses makes you strong.  Being kind, even to those who least deserve it, makes you strong.

This morning I read the famous passage, Proverbs 31.  "She is clothed in strength and dignity." Who knew this was such a difficult thing to achieve?