Here Am I, Lord. Send me!

The other day I was reading Isaiah, and I was struck by the prophet's willingness to volunteer for whatever God wants of him.  It's not an unfamiliar verse: "Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?' Then I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

When contemplating what God's plan is for me, I've prayed that verse many times, when I've stumbled across something that I am willing to do.  But that's not what Isaiah did.  God asked who would do His bidding, and, without knowing what it was going to be, Isaiah raised his hand.

When Jesus went around collecting His disciples, He didn't lay out a recruitment plan, or hand out brochures asking people to follow Him if they felt it was good for their family, or something that would further their ten year goal.  He said, "Follow me" and they did.

What happened?  Somewhere along the way, it has become acceptable for us to either choose for ourselves what God wants us to do, or wait until God's hand is writing on the wall and we've been swallowed by a large fish before we submit.  We make reasonable excuses or assume someone else "with that calling" will do it.  We claim the highest regard for those who serve God in ways that we "just can't."

That's a bunch of malarkey.

Many years ago, I went to my oldest sister's church, and they were having a ceremony in which they were sending people into ministry.  Those being sent, June included, came walking in holding a candle, saying, "Here am I, Lord. Send me!"  I don't remember which of my sister's many adventures she was about to embark on, or anything else about that ceremony.  But I was moved by the beauty and simplicity of the willingness to go where God would send.

Here's the thing, though.  I am confident that I would do whatever God asked of me, as soon as I knew what it was. Just raising my hand and saying, "OK, God, what do You need?  I'm Your gal!" is far scarier.  He might want me to interact with drug users.  He might want me to go to Africa.  He might want me to give up my relaxation time and help at church.  He might want me to touch homeless people.  He might want me to open my stable home to disturbed, neglected children who will likely be difficult and make me cry.  He might want me to get out of my comfort zone!!

Because, you know, it was super easy for Jesus to take my sin upon Himself and die an excrutiating death. No biggie.  Totally nothing like the possibility that I might have to smell dirty people! 

Oh my word.  When will I ever learn to get over myself?  First off, our purpose here is to further the Kingdom.  Secondly, God is not going to expect us to do anything that we can't handle.  Thirdly, there isn't anything with His help and grace that we can't handle.

I am not there yet.  I admit, I am still pretty scared to just open my arms and accept whatever it is God commands.  I'm getting there.  Actually, if you could pray for me, that would be awesome.  How about you?  What are you afraid God will send you to do?