Dying to Christ

Philippians 1:21
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

For those of us who grew up in the church, and in particular went to Christian schools, this is a verse that is learned from an early age.  Yet, the meaning of it has always been elusive for me.  Sure, it gets explained all the time by youth pastors or Bible teachers, but what does it really MEAN?

I've always sort of just accepted that it meant we were to live a life pleasing to Christ, and that dying meant ascending to heaven to be in the presence of the Father.  But what if it's really something a bit more?  Jesus commands us to deny ourselves.  As my pastor Ryan pointed out in his sermon last Sunday, most of the time, we interpret that denial as simply not enjoying some sort of earthly pleasure like too much dessert.  I don't think that's what Jesus meant, though, nor do I think that when Paul says "to die is gain" that he's referring to our heavenly reward.

What, then, is denying ourselves?  What is the gain in death?  I think perhaps this death is a termination of our old selves.  Prior to our decision to become a disciple of Christ, we lived the life of <insert own name here>.  Once we choose to be a disciple, we are choosing to change ourselves to conform to the Master, no matter what kind of disciple we are becoming.  When that discipleship is conforming ourselves to Christ, we are choosing to live AS Christ, and rejecting everything that hinders this.  So in the death of our former selves, we gain the life of Christ, we gain the freedom, the space required, to be like Him.

Man, that's hard to do sometimes!  We are in a constant state of warfare!  It is so easy to justify our shortcomings, so easy to say, "if God really loved me...", but the fact that He has even given us an opportunity to return to Him shows He loves us.  Asking us to give up the flesh is His way of showing us His love.  Think about it.  Most sin seems super fun at the time, but then eventually leads to some sort of pain, whether it be emotional or physical.  Murder and adultery are pretty darn obvious, but what about overindulging in the kitchen?  Not only does it eventually make you feel bad physically (through sluggishness, lack of energy, all the way to diabetes, or other diseases brought on by lack of activity), it ruins your self esteem.  You feel unattractive and like you have no self control!  But man, didn't all that deep-fried chicken taste good??  God wants us to obey because it is healthy in every way. 

Yet, denying ourselves to be like Jesus is not simply about denying ourselves fun stuff.  It's about denying OURSELVES.  Period.  Jill's method of doing things is rarely God's way.  Naturally, I think my way would be awesome.  Yet, I'm not the Master; I'm the disciple.