I'm Not a Real Christian, and Neither are You

Real Christians care for "the least of these."

Real Christians are loving.

Real Christians aren't judgmental.

Real Christians cherish all life.

Real Christians don't worry about offending people.

Real Christians care for Creation.

Real Christians know that Man is set apart.

Real Christians will support Christian music/movies/media.

At one point in time or another, I have heard all of these, from varying sources.  And in many ways, they are all true, but many are not quite so black and white.

See, we as humans really like to make everything as easy as possible.  If we can sum up our faith neatly, without getting down and dirty, we are delighted.  It makes loving God so easy!  And more importantly, it makes us feel smug because we can define what Real Christians are based on our own gifts, abilities, and already established world views.  However, when we dig into God's Word, and I mean really dig in, not just read to find things to justify what we already want to think, we discover that being a Real Christian is anything but tidy.

See, the people God has to work with to further His kingdom are all a mess themselves.  Some of our problems are actually biological- we snap at people when we're hungry, we are accidentally thoughtless when we are tired, and our American culture has convinced us to be slender and busy at all times.  However, we cannot negate that most of our problems can be traced back to the sin that caused that beautiful angel to be banished from God's presence- pride.

Why do we argue over things with other Christians?  And I'm not talking healthy debate, because that is extremely important for our growth.  I'm talking about arguing and belittling and declaring what Real Christians are.  Have you ever heard someone say what a Real Christian was and have it NOT be something that they themselves believed or how they consistently behaved already?  Me, neither. We take pride in knowing that we understand the Bible or the Holy Spirit.  We are the Pharisee in Luke 18, whose prayer of gratitude is that he is not as bad as everyone else, and that he obeys God appropriately.

Here's the thing.  If we love our neighbor, what does that look like?  First of all, it takes work.  Work that might cut into our Dr. Who binge on Netflix, or cost us money we wanted to use on cute shoes.  Work that requires we set aside ourselves, not go and help the bare minimum so we can pat ourselves on the back and say we did something Good, but actual work.  We need to listen to people's stories, even if they drone on and on like Ben Stein's character, or if their story is rife with bad choices and obvious character flaws.  Did we apply and interview to gain Christ's grace?  Neither should we be stingy with ours.  When we listen to people's stories, we can know how best to love them.  Sometimes that means supporting them and finally being someone who doesn't cast stones.  Sometimes that means speaking difficult truths that they won't want to hear.  Sometimes it's not judging someone, and sometimes, it is. 

We need to show respect to each other.  When Jesus was crucified and even the thief on the cross near him was mocking him, did He hurl sarcastic zingers at him?  Nope.  We like to do that, because it makes us feel smarter than people who make fun of our beliefs.  Which can be traced back to pride.

We need to stop cherry-picking the Bible to serve our own purpose.  This means you.  Yeah you.  And this means me, too.  We can justify just about anything if we utilize our concordance for that purpose.  But that won't make us Real Christians.  God's Word is strange and mysterious and confusing and obvious and complex.  Don't let anyone tell you what it says without reading the whole of it yourself.

I know many people believe that some Christians are more worried about not offending people and are therefore offending God.  But if we are unkind and unloving to people- people that God loves enough to give over His Son for- wouldn't that offend God?  There is no one-size-fits-all answer.  It IS appropriate to be gentle with people, sometimes.  And it IS appropriate to call people out on their behavior, even at the risk of offense, sometimes.  If we are letting active love be our guide, we will know when to use which.

Real Christians are humble.  Real Christians seek after Truth, even if it means changing what they've always believed.  Real Christians love God.  Real Christians love others actively.

I'm not a Real Christian, not yet.  But I am a disciple of Jesus, so there's hope for me.

Prayer...Warrior?

A few months ago, there was a period that God was totally answering many of my prayers in super obvious and fairly immediate ways.  I felt like I had ascended to a new level of prayer awesomeness and that there was nothing I couldn't ask for that God wouldn't grant. 

Then He got over that.  Maybe I was starting to get too bold.  Maybe I was beginning to ask for things that simply aren't in The Plan.  Maybe I wasn't really praying within The Plan.  Whatever the reason, it took very little for me to start to get discouraged.

See, I'm a 21st Century American.  I like results.  I like results this very second, and if I can't have them, I'd like to obsessively track their arrival time.  I want things to work the way I want, and I'd like to get a full refund if they don't.  Of course, the God who created the universe exists in a slightly different schedule than me.  Clearly he just doesn't see how urgent everything is. 

You would think that the woman who had to wait 18 years to get her wonderful child would understand the need for patience.  You would think.  Instead, I easily get discouraged and start to become convinced that God just doesn't listen to me, or worse, doesn't care.

Now, when I'm not feeling all sorry for myself and assuming that the entire world revolves around me, I can acknowledge that God has blessed me immeasurably.  We have a home, we have plenty of food in our bellies, we have friends and family whom we love and who love us.  Plus God knows that granting someone the fruits of the Spirit is not always as effective as having them learn them.  But seriously?  It would be so much better if I could have patience NOW, and if I could just exhibit goodness, dagnabbit!!  Yet, I have learned through trial and error to have joy, and to practice love through action.

I hate that I get discouraged so easily.  I know God isn't a vending machine.  I know that if I open my eyes, I see all the good things He has done and shown His love.

What about you?  How do you get discouraged when you know you shouldn't?

Here Am I, Lord. Send me!

The other day I was reading Isaiah, and I was struck by the prophet's willingness to volunteer for whatever God wants of him.  It's not an unfamiliar verse: "Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?' Then I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'"

When contemplating what God's plan is for me, I've prayed that verse many times, when I've stumbled across something that I am willing to do.  But that's not what Isaiah did.  God asked who would do His bidding, and, without knowing what it was going to be, Isaiah raised his hand.

When Jesus went around collecting His disciples, He didn't lay out a recruitment plan, or hand out brochures asking people to follow Him if they felt it was good for their family, or something that would further their ten year goal.  He said, "Follow me" and they did.

What happened?  Somewhere along the way, it has become acceptable for us to either choose for ourselves what God wants us to do, or wait until God's hand is writing on the wall and we've been swallowed by a large fish before we submit.  We make reasonable excuses or assume someone else "with that calling" will do it.  We claim the highest regard for those who serve God in ways that we "just can't."

That's a bunch of malarkey.

Many years ago, I went to my oldest sister's church, and they were having a ceremony in which they were sending people into ministry.  Those being sent, June included, came walking in holding a candle, saying, "Here am I, Lord. Send me!"  I don't remember which of my sister's many adventures she was about to embark on, or anything else about that ceremony.  But I was moved by the beauty and simplicity of the willingness to go where God would send.

Here's the thing, though.  I am confident that I would do whatever God asked of me, as soon as I knew what it was. Just raising my hand and saying, "OK, God, what do You need?  I'm Your gal!" is far scarier.  He might want me to interact with drug users.  He might want me to go to Africa.  He might want me to give up my relaxation time and help at church.  He might want me to touch homeless people.  He might want me to open my stable home to disturbed, neglected children who will likely be difficult and make me cry.  He might want me to get out of my comfort zone!!

Because, you know, it was super easy for Jesus to take my sin upon Himself and die an excrutiating death. No biggie.  Totally nothing like the possibility that I might have to smell dirty people! 

Oh my word.  When will I ever learn to get over myself?  First off, our purpose here is to further the Kingdom.  Secondly, God is not going to expect us to do anything that we can't handle.  Thirdly, there isn't anything with His help and grace that we can't handle.

I am not there yet.  I admit, I am still pretty scared to just open my arms and accept whatever it is God commands.  I'm getting there.  Actually, if you could pray for me, that would be awesome.  How about you?  What are you afraid God will send you to do?

Facebook Fast

Well, my pastor, friggin Ryan Parish, challenged everyone at church two weeks ago to decide by last week something that we would be willing to give up for a week.  My first thought was Coke Classic, because it is my biggest dietary vice.  I once punched my husband because he wouldn't go buy me some soda.  (Thankfully, that was an isolated incident, I didn't even remotely hurt him, though I am pretty sure I hurt myself, and it has now become a source of amusing but snarky comments when we are running low in the fridge.)  I have at various times in my life attempted to give it up because I KNOW it's horrible for me.  But sweet, sweet Coca-Cola is so delicious.

However, my soda consumption has never really been a hindrance with my faith.  What Ryan was really challenging us to do was give up the thing(s) which distracted us from the Kingdom.  Things that we did to "kill time."  Things that were preventing us from achieving our purpose.  I tried to think of things that probably would be difficult but not really.  I tried to skirt around what I knew was the best choice.  I tried not to talk to Drew about it because I knew he would say I should give up what I knew I should and as soon as he said it, I would have to admit it and actually DO it. But dagnabbit if Drew didn't bring it up while we were trapped in the car together (also known as "driving home from church")!

So, I gave up Facebook for a week.

I thought before I started that I might wither away and die because I have an incredibly intense FOMO.  Somehow, I did not.  Partly because my mother is even nosier ("I like to call it curious") than I am and was able to still fill me in on Important Updates, like letting me know my sister was fine after the tornadoes in her state, though she did have to go to the basement.  I did find it frustrating when I needed to convey information, since FB is my primary source of communication with most people now.  I also felt lonely at times, cut off from my friends, once again because it is my primary source of communication.

However, the times when I just typically open my Facebook app and peruse everyone's meals and political gripes because I'm bored ended up being filled with something much better.  Something I hadn't even realized I had replaced with selfies of my friends and intense discussions about grammar. I filled that space with conversations with God.  We didn't have any new revelatory discussions, but they weren't rushed, obligatory chats, either.  I actually *talked* to God, and allowed Him to respond.  I had time to let the sense of gratitude for all the blessings I have received wash over me.  I had time to earnestly pray for people I love.  I had time to ask for wisdom.

When we say we don't have time for prayer or meditation, it is a lie.  The truth is that we don't wish to make it a priority over other things, whether it's work, cooking dinner, sleeping, reading, exercising, zoning in front of the TV, taking a bath, or spending time reading BuzzFeed.  Some of the things we do instead are indeed important: we need to work, we need to eat, we need to sleep.  Most are not.

I'm not going to lie.  I'm looking forward to getting back on Facebook and finding out what I missed.  However, I'm glad I took a week off to find out what I was *really* missing.

God's Side

Yes, I am going to talk about my enemies again.  I'm not sure why I'm wrestling so especially with this of late, but I am.  This morning I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, and I came across a post featuring Jim Wallace of Sojourners fame.  When I clicked on it, a quote by Lincoln was referenced saying he didn't care if God was on his side, but was concerned with being on God's side.

I like that quote.  I agree with that quote.  Yet, as I pondered it this morning, it brought me back to this idea of praying for my enemies and what that means. 

Recently, I talked about how the point of praying for them was not just so they could be brought around to my correct way of thinking, but perhaps I could be brought to theirs.  This came to mind while thinking about the Lincoln quote.  If we are all praying for our enemies, we will all be seeking after God's will, right?  I believe earnestly seeking after God's will means we are open to His molding, and direction.  Sometimes this means we have to follow somewhere we didn't intend to go.  Sometimes this means forgiving people we enjoy being mad at.  Sometimes this even means acknowledging we need to repent and change our way of thinking, and behaving.

So, here's a super novel concept to make sure I'm not just applying The Way I'd Like Things To Be to God- I could actually pray without ceasing! That's right.  I said it.  I could talk to God more.  And better yet, I could wait quietly for an answer. 

Ya know, I think that might be what holds me back.  In prayer as often in regular conversations, I spend my time sharing what I want to say, and not always listening.  How can I truly find peace with my enemies if I'm busy telling God to make them more like me?  I suspect many already are, in that regard.  How can I know what God's side is, if I never give Him a chance to tell me?  All too often time in prayer consists of talking to God, thanking Him for blessings, asking for more, and then saying "Amen," and going on with my business.  God has to talk super fast if He has anything to say to me!  Fortunately, He finds ways to reveal Himself to me all the time.  But how much more would I hear if I would just Be Still? 

I might even find out how to be on His side.

Surely Not I

So, I've been thinking about my post from last week about praying for our enemies.  One thing that has always been part of that for me (and I suspect most people), is the notion that by praying for the softening of their hearts, God will eventually help them see The Error of Their Ways.  That reconciliation will come from forgiveness on my part, and movement on theirs.

But, and here's a question I have rarely asked myself ever, what if I'm wrong?  Of course, this simply can't be.  My supreme humility means I have always concluded the right and proper viewpoint.  I can't possibly be wrong.  I know what the Bible says.  If someone thinks differently from me, they clearly are being influenced by their own desires, or propaganda, or they're simply naive.

I don't know.  I really like the idea of praying that God will fix people I don't like.  It just seems wrong that in praying for people with whom I disagree, or have hurt me or people I love, I'm the one who needs to change!

It's so much easier to compare myself to Jesus, dying for sinners, asking God to forgive them, the very people who placed him there.  It's so much nicer to view myself in a benevolent state of prayer, rising above my own angst and feelings of bitterness to be the Better Person.  Being smug is my favorite feeling in all the world, so why is it so hard for me to practice praying for my enemies?

I suspect it's because in doing so, the stirrings of my own failings are awakened in me, and not just the lack of forgiveness kind.  Maybe I have misidentified Truth.  Maybe I'm right about it, but I cling to pride in the knowing of it too much.  Maybe nobody is wrong.  Maybe we all are.

Whatever it is, God does make it VERY clear that we are to pray for those who persecute is.  We are to love our enemies.  It's hard.  Being a disciple can really suck sometimes.  But I know without a doubt that obedience, no matter how difficult, will be worth it.

Praying for my Enemies

When things like what happened yesterday at the Boston Marathon occur, it's easy to remind ourselves of certain things we're "supposed" to do.  We are called to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.  But what does that really mean?  We also are commanded to pray without ceasing.  How are we to do this?

I often feel smug that in my enlightened state, I recognize that our world would look very different if we actually did these things in conjunction with each other.  There would be less violence in the world, the leaders of every nation would exhibit greater wisdom, people everywhere would just get along in a more civilized manner.  I truly believe this.  Of course, when I'm not patting myself on the back for recognizing this, I have to admit to myself that I absolutely do not pray without ceasing, and when I pray for my enemies, it is difficult for me to do so with sincere love and freedom from snark.

I suppose it's time for me to put up or shut up.  What does it look like to love my enemies?  I can pray for wisdom, for softening of their hearts, but do I really have to ask God to bless them?  I think the answer is yes.  I really don't like that.  I'm fine with asking for them to have a changed heart, because after all, that means they're going to be more like me!  And who doesn't want that?  I'm awesome!  But...maybe in praying for people with whom I disagree, or people who aim to hurt those whom I love, part of that prayer needs to include a softening of my heart.  Perhaps part of the point of communing with God and asking for good things for people I am odds with is that I learn peace, that I can practice genuine forgiveness, that I can be loving and perhaps find reconciliation.

Hmm.  This might take effort.  This might do damage to my pride.  This might hurt.

We know abstractly that we are not to conform God to us, but be conformed to Him.  Yet, we find ourselves at the very least only conforming to the things with which we experience the least discomfort.  Loving our enemies is lovely in an I-don't-hate-you kind of way.  It's nice having a self-satisfied peace knowing we will not let them "get" to us.  I don't think that's enough.  A while back, I read this blog by my sister: What I Learned from Martin Luther King, Jr When I Prayed for Newt Gingrich.  I agreed with everything she said, and thought how rad and smart she is.  But...that was that.  I didn't actually change any of my own habits.  That is just asking too much!

So, here we are, with more violence, more foolishness, more calamity.  If I am to be truly honest with myself, I am part of the problem, because I refuse to be obedient.  Praying- truly, deeply, lovingly praying- for our enemies requires humility.  It requires that I acknowledge that God loves them, too.  It requires that I acknowledge that God knows best what blessings should be bestowed and on whom.

This is going to be hard.  I think I might need to ask God for strength and perseverance, too.